The fault was mine
\nyou never said so much
\ncarefully treading our finger tip touch.
\nFor a while there it felt like remission
\nhard work and perseverance
\npaid price of admission
\nIsn\u2019t that how the story goes?
\nBut no
\nthat summer was a sucker-hole
\na moment
\nwhen I was high and you were low<\/p>\n
And when my health
\nstopped
\ngetting better
\nand then got worse again
\nI held on to the hope
\n\u2013increasingly fantastic\u2013
\nthat there could be a place for me
\ninside
\nat your table.
\nBy then so used to luke warm
\nI forgot how much my shrunken stomach deviates from the norm.
\nBy then so used to looking up from below
\nI believed your maybe later was much more than a Seattle no.<\/p>\n
Thank you
\nfor your friendship.
\nYou have shown me beautiful places
\noutside my comfort zone
\nand above my station.
\nThank you
\nfor your generosity
\nall the research and repairs you\u2019ve done for me.
\nEnabled
\nI have grown a great deal
\nin the shelter of your patronage.
\nBut I blew the chance of lasting friendship with that first kiss
\nthe fault is mine
\nand if I could go back in time I would turn away my hungry lips
\nand say, \u201cwe should start heading back\u201d
\nto the safety of the platonic path
\nif I could\u2019ve seen beyond the bend
\nand known that mine goes up and down while yours goes down and up again<\/p>\n
* * * * *<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve been living off the tepid leftovers of friendship for eight long fucking years
\nand I want
\nso badly
\nto get inside that door
\nbut my weak knocks were ignored
\nand now I\u2019ve had that door casually closed in my face
\nwithout a moments thought
\nwithout a glance behind
\none too many times
\nto try<\/p>\n
I\u2019m left with all these words
\npages covered in notes
\nmy only currency
\nworse than counterfeit
\nwithout a stable state behind it
\nuseless
\nreduced to pure art
\nbusking for friends
\nin the parking lot<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The fault was mine you never said so much carefully treading our finger tip touch. For a while there it felt like remission hard work and perseverance paid price of admission Isn\u2019t that how the story goes? But no that summer was a sucker-hole a moment when I was high and you were low And […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-107","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/freaksoftechnology.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/freaksoftechnology.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/freaksoftechnology.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/freaksoftechnology.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/freaksoftechnology.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=107"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/freaksoftechnology.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/freaksoftechnology.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=107"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/freaksoftechnology.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=107"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/freaksoftechnology.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=107"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}