There’s a place today where I go
  the still water tears
    funhouse mirror reflect
      over where I was once

They all looked up to me
  at least it seemed that way
In a small, turgid pond
  seeds lay in silt since
    maybe they’ve been there all along

How far back would I have to travel
to find the stitch where it first unraveled:

  I think it was 2007
    when the fear came true
    I was forced to chose —
      grow beyond it
      or stumble on forever haunted

  Or maybe it was ’03 that broke me
    deep inside
    I was unprepared
      for the fire in their stares

  How far back the mirror crack runs
    I’ve felt broken
    Since I was forced off my block as a child

  Let the record state it was alone
    Boston
      ‘08
        when the migraines finally took control

  Let the record state
  I think I know
  if any of it happened now
  I could take it all in
    and hold it
  I’ve grown stronger
  But now it’s been so long
    the world I knew back then is gone
  But now it’s been so long
    the mind I had back when
    is long, long gone

Meek, lamb, afraid to rattle the cage
afraid to try
burnt from too many times
when it hurt like being kept alive
  helpless

Still I move forward
not because I’m so damn strong
I’ve thought it all through
  a thousand times
there is no easy option
  only decay
    entropy
the only law I can see when my head gets this way
it feels so clear
a broken shard of mirror

Still I move forward
but the mountains get no closer